im orety awesome arent i? relly i know i am
so heres a good story. about 6 hrs ago i took a bath with bruce blasting. and 6 hrs later i woke up still in my bathtub but in cold water
dude, that chick is coming to see me and stay for 2 nights. I'm hitting the 3rd in the trifecta of friends.
You're one hell of a depraved bastard dude, I'm borderline speechless. You officially win.
They all have matching tattoos so they're all official bffs. I love my life.
there is no way he can be that small
look on the bright side he'll over comepensate
We need to talk in the morning. The guy I was with just interpreted me taking off my earrings as code for "let me take off my pants."
he showed me his boner with his cell phone light during the movie.
Come on... In this relationship-economy, you gotta have "awesome blowjobs" on your resume.
I legitimately sent him a storybook of naked pictures.
You were silly, high, and chewing on things.
I feel like a drive thru vagina
Yo making cake in the shape of a penis is no easy feat
Man I sound like a slutty Mormon
I think I might start referring to your vagina as a separate being now
Self reach around competition is what the Olympics has been missing all along. A true test of athleticism.
All I can taste is Pickle Juice and Cocaine.
Randomize
