I bet him anal if they won...the one time Detroit decides to win, it had to be this week
I'm fucking him on the second date. I don't give a fuck what Patti Stanger says.
obviously my correlation between being a pro surfer and being extremely good in bed was 100% wrong.
im sober
you just pulled your sweatpants out of your bag and thanked them for being alive
oh god my hair smells like rotten vegetables, sweat, and tequila. I wanna party with your neighbors every night.
Holy fucking shit the worst thing for a hangover ever--A FUCKING BOLLYWOOD MOVIE BLARING IN CLASS
I should make a collage of all the pictures of me caught doing slutty things
He fed us edamame like baby birds. Slowly all coming back to me.
Dude so last night I was eating out my gf and her kitten climbed onto my back and fell asleep. AND SHE DIDN'T NOTICE FOR LIKE 10 MINUTES
I will gladly accept you into my home with open legs.
And he's a cuddle champ. I know because I slept over because I don't know what boundaries are.
I'm at the back whiskey bar with a 7 and 7 in a winnie the pooh costume. Come find me.
It was like Lady and the Tramp, but just tramp and the tramp. And instead of spaghetti and meatballs, we had whiskey and cups
Finally fucked my buddy's mom!! We are both ten years older and for her it really shows but i hit it!!
she gave me a ride on the back of her motor scooter and i swooned so hard
omg it's like all of your grease 2 fantasies come true i'm so happy for you
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