I just spent the night with a bunch of indian guys and i wasn't attracted to a single one. Yeah i've officially become an anti-indian indian.
you know how they say when you die, your whole life flashed before you? well do you get to see what happened all the nights you blacked out?
why is there cat hair all over my deoderant?
she wanted to smell more freshershest than you.
ok... i just had to be reminded that people in animal costumes were feeding me shots at the bar.
Just saw him riding in a basket on the front of a bike trying to feed the other guy beer. He screamed 'PARTY BIKE BITCHES!' at me as they rode past.
I lied. He's hitting on a drag queen now. Should I rescue him or take pictures?
She just kept saying "bless your heart" to him while he cried because he came so fast. I think a Texas woman was just what he needed
I had so much drainage I couldn't moan properly. Fuck allergy season
there's a photo set of like seven dicks covered in glitter....i don't know what to do
See! Theres potential!
Oh yeah. All good relationships start with a threesome.
"Yeah because the first thing I think of when I hear the word college is tear gas."
We watched playoff games and fucked so we could both see the TV. I've now found true love.
I just came rly close to telling a dude that I want to chew on him and there should be an oil painting of his ass up in the louvre before I realized that isn't how flirting is supposed to go
I really appreciate you taking the time to blur out my excessive boob cleavage for instagram
Doing shots with my high school valedictorian. Bucket list
It's officially "let him eat me out in a sundress with no panties" season. Needless to say the first date was a success.
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