i hope you realize when i said "grib" earlier i was referring to the gridded binary, a mathematically concise data format commonly used in meteorology to store historical weather forecast data. also meant in referential conjunction to my probability math class that i am failing at roughly 215pm tomorrow afternoon.
i wonder what thom yorke's orgasms sound like
yeah. then i thought it would be a good idea to show them how hairy my armpits were, so they'd be distracted from the bush in my pants. EPIC FAIL.
Also, just grabbed a bunch of "tuxedo black" condoms. formal, anyone?
No matter what you may say to me. You will still be the guy that managed to get his own cum in his hair.
there are 5 pictures on my phone from last night, 4 are too blurry to recognize and the 5th is you dangling a twizzler over your mouth, naked.
Ahh you know it's going to be a long day when you mistake a beer for a sprite at 10:30 in the morning while babysitting
Mike showed up naked and in handcuffs. Again. Feel free to come over and laugh because I'm not helping this time.
I asked the cop if I could see his dick- It's not like he could arrest me twice.
Haha its fine we ask know it. He's still cool thought
Focus on the keyboard man. Focusssss
They gave me 4 meds at the health center and said not to take alcohol with any of them. Guess ill wait until tomorrow to feel better.
A good example of deductive reasoning: Knowing that when my girlfriend texts me "I promise not to smoke all your weed!" that she is...at that VERY moment...Smoking All Of My Weed.
Ummm so he didn't think I was serious about breaking up... Most awkward conversation ever
Baby Shark came on during sex.
She has BABY SHARK on her sex playlist. Who does that?
To potentially get me laid, I need you to send me your favorite memes.
Randomize
