everyone made a circle around them and startd chanting fight fight. they wernt fighting, they were dry humping
billy ray cyrus is narrating a show on the history channel. my iq cant decide whether to go up or down.
I wish I could have two rating systems on iTunes. "This one is a 5 star. This one is only a 5 star when I'm baked."
is it bad that the only reason i knew what antidote meant in class today, was from years of playing pokemon?
I need ur penis! This is not drunk texting, either! This is I need ur penis texting. There IS a difference!
i'm drinking with a bunch of phds, i feel very stupid but good about my drinking abilities
its all coming back to me in waves....waves of humiliation and nausea.
She was our DD the least I could do is have sex with her. Even when drunk I'm still chivalrous.
I think the pivotal moment was when we used the see and say as a drinking game with shots of whiskey. It was all downhill after that.
I vaguely remember trying to exfoliate my face with your leg hair. Sorry about that.
I thought you were single?
I am. But thats cuz no one wants to marry shame and regret doused in tequila. But thanks for reminding me ya dick.
I feel like I'm going to get the reputation of being the girl who brings her dog with her to all her random hookups.
got into a verbal altercation with Luke Harangoty last night over a table. Called him a cross-eyed fuck and got the table.
I feel like we have a good system here turning our sketchy decisions into great stories.
His chest is so hairy i want to pet it with my nipples.
Randomize