I love you!
You're insane
Fuckin crazy man! Seriously though I think if you would have me I honestly seriously think about marrying u!
Alright now lets video chat so I can xshow u my dick! Hahahaha
Theres puke in my trash can and spilled beer next to my bed... come get your girlfriend
My breakfast consisted of a slimfast and an adderal. My fridge is like an insecurity buffet.
you will always have a special place in my vag
He kept saying that the puke outside the theater wasn't his and it was all a set up to keep him from partying with the whores. Then he passed out on the sidewalk.
Dave a horae rider a coqw boy
He kept making me pretend I was his personal trainer. When I swallowed his cum he made me pretend I was drinking a protein shake. Thats actually what it tasted like.
We got baked and watched the cheetah girls on Netflix
You need to not admit that.
We're just Facebook friends. Use guy logic. I tapped your wife in high school, 20 years and 60 lbs ago, when she was hot and experimental. Why would I mess with that now? It would ruin the vivid memories of her that I keep in my spank bank.
I will find you...
holy fucking shit get me out of here. even the babies are wearing beanies
So I ate half a jar of mayo because I thought it would cure a hangover. I thought wrong.
So was this before or after he cried about trump?
After
What happened last night? I'm too scared to get out of bed and see the destruction.
First of all, check to see if that naked guy is still alive. He didn't look to be breathing when I left
It's to the point where if a guy can so much as find my clit, I'll consider him amazing in bed
The police officer that arrested me Friday night just bought me a shot
Randomize
