My unemployment check should really just be direct-deposited into the checking account of my drug dealer
mmmm my 21st bday fucking sucks all my best friends are pregnant...selfish assholes. they just couldnt wait til after my bday.
And then she proceeded to fling her bra around while screaming the rocket power theme song, still managing to not fall off the skateboard
He tried to stick it in and I asked him what he wanted to name our child and he quit.
Not much, just your average college male Sunday cleaning period blood out of the carpet.
Tell me you're kidding.
Besides scarred, I'm not much of anything right now.
Oh my god I peed in a park last night and then tried to set off fireworks with a group of middle-aged men
After some trial and error I found soaking my balls in maple syurip helps ease the pain.
I love how when they see that I'm upset their initial response is to offer me ecstasy
Well, he asked what my sign was, then proceeded to critique me on my beer pong stance... I really need to raise my standards.
I think I've been there, but who knows? I drink a lot
He sent me a snap of him eating a tamale shirtless. I think I might be in love.
LOCK HIM DOWN.
So i know i said I'm turning over a new leaf, but i met a guy with a dick piercing. I have to sleep with him. For science.
My memory of last night is a delicious blur of tits, ass, and alcohol.
No, gay couples have the same problems straight ones do; I wish that we could go back to the days when he would shit with the door closed.
may or may not have entered into a gay civil rights discussion with 6 year olds. Hint: I did.
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