I'm torn. Shes everything I ever wanted, but I just cant get past the story about having drunken sex with her dog in high school.
I know i'm drunk when the "men" sign on the bathroom sounds chinese
I think forcing your little sister to drink with you on a Wednesday when she has school the next day is the low point of alcoholism.
In the middle of switching positions, we shared a line of coke. It's was like a modern-day 'Lady and the Tramp.'
They found a chair, duct taped me to it, then gave me a bottle of vodka to 'make me feel at home'
I'm thinking about wearing a strap-on just to freak him out the next time he pulls my pants off.
Tell Taylor to rock on. Tell her she is so beautiful that the sun shines down on her face and shows her beauty. Tell her to live on, like Martin Luther King. He'll never die. He's living his dreams.
She just shoved like three McNuggets in her mouth and started sobbing and I have no idea what's going on.
I praised you last night for winning a chug off...you thanked me with a ridiculously hard headbutt. Thanks dick.
He spelled Steven with "ph", needless to say my nose was almost bleeding from the amount of axe he was wearing.
I definitely think you should enjoy one last spring break being a sorostitute before you get serious and settle down with price charming. I mean hes not going to be there any way. he can wait a week.
I just know what's gonna happen. I mean. I shaved my legs up to shorts length. But I'm leaving the rest as a sort of makeshift caution tape.
My mute roommate is using sign language to ask a guy to fuck her.
My Boss was giving porn recommendations. I think I'm scarred for life.
It's a weird kind of sexy when a guy has a bunkbed with his roommate
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