He called me an ungrateful bitch because I lauged when he asked me "how do you me and a bed sound?"
Like I should be grateful for the 5 minutes I sit on top of him and stare at the wall.
Don't worry. This time I'll get black out drunk so they'll just think it's an American thing.
Sorry 4 leaving u in the dumpster last night
Cops just came and got two guys out of my class. I can't do college. Seriously cannot rage at this school anymore.
Honest opinion...too aggressive to bring the funnel out to the bar? Also just so you know im at the bar. with the funnel.
I refrained from asking a guy what he spilled on his dick because it smelled good. Morals.
It's called being normal.
Maybe I'll make your dreams come true and pee on you tomorrow.
Is it too early to start pregaming for St. Patty's?
He doesn't drink liquor so instead of doing a body shot off my belly button he dropped water in there and sipped it out with a straw. Look at my face: =|
I wonder what dick looks like without astigmatism?
we are eating waffles in the pillow fort. Still think you're too straight for a threesome?
I'll be right over.
How good was the sex? She sent me a fruit basket the next day.
Who knew sons of strippers would be really feminist boyfriends?
His beard looks like it smells like beer, cocaine and old pussy juice
thanks for supporting my whoreish tendencies
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