girl in the front row yawned. double jointed jaw. i know where i'll be sitting next class
so high and i think i just ordered a magic bullet.
did you call within the first 18 minutes? can i have the free one?
Apparently 'she used to sleep with my brother' is not an acceptable answer to how do you know each other.
I'd really appreciate it if we could dress up as pilgrims and indians for the thanksgiving eve bar crawl
mom and dad are asleep. time to fish my half-full bottle of wine out from under my bed and give this christmas visit a pick-me-up.
"half-full" seems a little optimistic for the turn your night is taking.
They are chanting tits for freedom and I'm highly considering
And by "schedule" I meant crumbled up liquor store receipt, that I wrote shit on.
It's blow job season.
I ate the last cupcake. I'm sorry. It was in the refrigerator mocking me. So I ate it. And it was glorious. But I'm sorry.
The other day I was really high and I felt like my words were coming out of my mouth in flowers...I don't know.
Anyone see the sob who took the piñata?
I sharted in my christmas pjs :(
This is why you have to watch more Zombie movies- to prepare for End Times...
Just deepthroated a hot dog. Thinking of you
he said to "slap him" after he guessed the time correctly. i did.
Randomize
