just used a caramelizing gun to spark a bowl, i don't think today could get much better than this.
This kid is drunk.
I hope by "this kid" you mean yourself and not some child you have kidnapped and gotten wasted.
You called yourself Captain Aspirin and then tried to cure my headache by shoving pills up my nose. Fuck you becoming a nurse, you can't take care of me while you're drunk ever again. Ever.
By the way, I got bored last night and just started putting my balls on every object in your room. One at a time.
So this 40 year old woman was trying to bring me into the bathroom to blow me and the bartender called the cops on her because she was showing her tits. Only in asbury.
On the 3rd day, she mixed sangria and orange juice and saw that it was good.
Haha. Last winter I went through this phase where id go to the bars with my own giant goblet and demand to be served white wine and red bull hah
Don't know why you're always hating on relationships. I've had chocolate pancakes accompanied by a blowjob and a blunt and it's not even 9 am. Time for mid morning shower sex. Enjoy your morning bong bowl alone asshole
I just used a beer funnel to put gas in my car
He's the only guy without a tacky accent I've seen in this southern dump in 6 months. Bangage was inevitable.
You're such a Yankee.
It would have been nice to break the dry spell with nice, civilized, sober sex somewhere other than on my friend's couch.
Lesson learned. No more vodka and toaster strudel
Just looked for hours for the remote. Found it in my purse. I need to drink less.
I just woke up to a ten minute voicemail of you sobbing about the X-Men. Stop getting drunk and watching Marvel movies.
BUT WOLVERINE IS SO TORMENTED AND JUST WANTS TO BE LOVED
So was this before or after he cried about trump?
After
Randomize
