omg he said he wants to insert his penis into my vagnia what do i say
tell him to stop quoting family guy
What do you say about some mid-afternoon anal?
Is it bad everytime a fat person orders fraps I want to tell them to slow their rolls
I wish alcohol would automatically work as birth control if you have sex drunk.
Dude. I have been looking at your movie history on netflix and it is like looking at the rings of a tree. Only instead of telling me how old you are, it tells me when you were stoned.
its a nice change of pace not blacking out and actually remembering getting laid
well at that point we were just fucking to keep warm.
4pm on a Sunday....roomate fucking like a wildabeast while I have a organic chemistry study group in my kitchen.
Walk of shaming dressed as a zombie hunter. This hangover feels like the actual apocalypse.
I'm running on two hours of sleep, a shot of vodka, and half of a granola bar. I can't be held responsible for what I do.
Matt's offering to breast feed it.
Nutrition teacher wants anything i eat or drink documented for the week including dancefestopia. Do you know the recommended daily ammount of psylicybin or MDMA?
At one point I yelled "THIS IS MY PENANCE FOR EVERYTHING I'VE DONE WRONG" and started saying Hail Marys
And I hope you're not misinterpreting us fucking as me trying to win you back. The sex is good and girls have needs.
the bastard is cheating on me with some sleazy barista from Starbucks
That’s his wife they’re back together
You say potato, I say sleazy barista
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