with your own penis?
Ana's brother is visiting for the wknd. He came back to our place last night drunk to find me passed out naked it in the shower with the water still running. I was still drunk. We decided it was a good idea to have sex and sleep on the bathroom floor. Woke up this morning spooning and using my towel as a pillow.
So I'll spare the details, but I think I discovered I'm lactose intolerant. In my sleep. And you'll be needing new sheets.
Just heard the garage door open and I immediately sprinted to the laptop to erase history, even though I haven't watched porn today...I believe Pavlov now.
She got a tattoo in memory of her cat, my attratcion to her is no more.
dude i just figured out that the tostitos sign is two people eating chips and salsa. being high totally pays off sometimes
Also, our mothers are placing bets on which of us will get pregnant first.
One last question would your parents let me sleep in your bathtub for the night?
remind me not to fuck anymore half bald 20 year olds. because obviously there's attachment issues
My ex was here I looked him in the eyes when I grabbed some other guy by his belt and dragged him to a room
There is nothing more embarrassing than your birth control alarm going off while in a meeting with your boss and they tell you to take it.
I want what they have, but in the meantime I have a whole bottle of rum to which I'm quite devoted
I only blacked out one night of three if that isn't fucking personal growth idk what is
Never in a million years thought I would have to put jello shot recipe/equation into an excel spreadsheet
I don't know where I keep finding these guys, but mi power bottoms es su power bottoms.
Randomize
