these two guys are about to go shot for shot with syrup
now he is talking to a potato
I'm going to get a baby outfit made and send it to her that says: "My husband fucked his subordinate and all I got was another baby".
the sex wasnt even worth changing my sheets
dude I just realized something - girls return my clothes washed so in thought bringing girls home is like avoiding going to the laundramat
You told him your wedding ring was part of your costume. not okay!!
Superbowl + Mdma, hope we're on the same page.
suddenly, hermaphrodite night sounds like a really bad idea
At least it earned you a couple drinks. And something tells me you've touched grosser things with less incentive.
im eating mac and cheese with a makeup brush. there is wayyyyy too much wrong with this night.
All I remember is intermittent flashes of being passed out on the side of the road 3 or 4 different times. And telling him to just leave me there and I would walk home in the morning.
Just watched two people have sex in the pool. Hope you enjoy your yeast infection courtesy of the comfort inn.
We had sex on roll out bean bag chair, and then proceeded to sleep with a blanket with dolphins on it. Happy birthday to me.
P.s. I wore your shirt today and it has your blood all over it, but I am at a funeral home and they are using embalming fluid to get your blood stains out right now.
How much glitter would I have to ingest in order for a "magnificent" amount to appear in my ejaculate?
i think she learned that just cuz half shots were easier, doesnt mean she can have triple as many.
Randomize
