but there are maragaritas for $3 so that was all i needed to hear
They told me I stole 50 buns and a bottle of mayo and would whisper in their ears to look under my shirt to see what was for breakfast... benefit of starting to drink at 9 am
He seriously just asked the doctor if taking the medicine for chlamydia was going to cut into his drinking time. Never let it be said that he is not dedicated.
there's a guy looking for his pants in my room, is he yours?
And then I asked the bartender for my third shot and he told me he had to cut me off at two because this was in fact a family fun center
I've decided I want to blow you wearing a santa hat.
Aren't rabbit ears more seasonally appropriate?
He would drink pee if it was in a beer can
All of the hungover. I've changed not showered but can't quite make it to the booze.
WE'RE IN THE RED ZONE PLAY THRU THE PAIN
tell me you did not just describe yourself as "hot and bothered"
I'll be the Broncos and you be the Seahawks and you can pound the shit out of me.
You should never be more than a quarter of a mile from a working toilet
Preach!
Sexual favors are the only currency recognized by the Republic of Greg
All I did was call him a fucker when he took my pot. He didn't have to arrest me.
I just want to say that I've always loved you and you are my best friend ever
You gave that creepy guy my number, didn't you? You really need to learn how to just say no, not interested.
All I could think about was how many vaginas had been on the toliet that I was pukin in
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