I only have two rules. But i've fotgotten those rules and replaced them w 2 other rules
Police were just in my backyard to recover a loaded .38. What the fuck?????
She was running around the bar, demanding everyone call her Jesus or else she would attack them like a llama. ack.
he asked me to marry him on one of those scrolling message belt buckels.... what now?
he suggested i make a website called "cum on molly's face", to "start off my acting career"
I was just "that girl you seen blowing some dude outside when you drove by"
I totally cried the whole time and then screamed out my new therapists name....
a 6'8" white kid in a Lin jersey just wandered out of my gay kid brother's room. when does spring break end, again?
No it was good. I serenaded the holding cell occupants with a fabulous rendition of Making Love out of Nothing at all. It was fucking amazing!
On NPR this morning, farmers are feeding weed to pigs. The result: pot bacon. Life just got better.
It's gay pride, I'm in my EMT uniform getting more girls than your straight ass ever will..
is it too soon to tell him I'm available anytime for Christmas themed pity sex and I'll even wear a Santa hat?
Thanks a lot dude. I'm grateful to you for your gift of pure piss.
Man I can't believe I took a huge dump in a public garden
Life is clearly unfair. You remember Courtney has three older sisters, well they're all "make baby sister look like a four" hot. I knew I shouldn't go home with her.
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