I just broke up with my girlfriend lets go find strippers that need rent money.
Well maybe next time you won't tell me to do whatever I want.
there's a taquito in the driveway. If it's not yours I'm going to eat it.
so I woke up and found tortilla in my belly button
I thought pig tail meant you were suppose to grab on to it when getting BJ
I have 250 contacts there has to be someone sober to take me to taco bell
okay, certainly we can't screw this up, and even as I type, I know we will
She said, "I don't really go out much, but my husband recently cheated on me" and I don't remember anything after that.
The trick will be getting hammered before we get to the first bar
Challenge accepted
Ive only just recently decided that NOT fucking you would be best for both of us.
He pulled a bucket of fried chicken out of his backpack as a peace offering. Under the chicken was a rainbow bag of weed. We're dating again.
IDK I WAS CAUGHT UP IN THE TEQUILA SHOTS AND FRIENDSHIP
Because I'm currently dying, lacking waffles, and vaguely convinced I'm an eagle
LISTEN TO ME! DONDE ESTA LA FUCKING VICODIN!
I forgot to bring soap and all I could find here was body wash. It's like bathing with laundry detergent.
Randomize