he was so hot that i framed the used condom. it's not trash, it's art.
I'm at the airport and there's a guy wearing all camoflash to go hunting .. Should I bump in to him and say woahh sorry didn't see you there?
Clearly I made an impression.
Or at least your vagina did.
I would describe it as pure and unadulterated shock, mixed with horror and a touch of nausea.
I had a dream that our used condom started talking to me. I told me that I did an amazing job, and told me that it saved me. From aids.
i know and i thought i was only capable of loving dick and drugs, im so happy
Yeah... I was considering changing that part but the boxed wine is non-negotiable.
Nope. If I'm going to drive an hour to fuck a teacher, it will NOT be missionary thats for damn sure.
No feeling is better than coming home from your booty call and putting on a fresh pair of granny panties
In honor of the new administration, I'm going to make it my goal this weekend to get some lesbian action. Fuck Donald Trump and fuck Mike Pence. I'm going to be a spiteful gay.
Somehow, you looked so classy chugging that bottle of wine last night.
You faceplanted on the railroad tracks and when I tried to tell you to get up, you told me you were "taking a quick breather"
He has me blocked on facebook.... so I stalked him using my cats fan page.
It's been three years since Kelly shit in the to go box that we put in Sam's mailbox after we broke up. Considering Sam and I are friends again, should I finally tell him?
Turns out dignity is priceless and Plan B costs $41.09
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