I wish I could punch you in the face.
I don't usually arrange sex via text message
i miss you so much
i miss you too
oops, did i send that to you? i meant to send it to the money you owe me
Is making out on a toilet while he is sitting down and pissing weird? cause that's what happened last night
The only thing he got me during our relationship was a cum stain in my backseat. I choose winners.
we kept pushing you at the prospective students saying go for it, itll make them want to come here
you kept yelling THIS ONES FOR THE ADMISSIONS OFFICE and then youd go in for the kill
You have proved your worthiness to join me on the quest of taking shots at every academic building on campus by showing up drunk to our test at 12:30 today
if you do the accent, i'll wear the eyepatch
He was in the middle of making out with two girls at once, but then the guy next to me said "I feel like I'm watching Animal Planet" he stopped to give him a high five
My dad just saw me take dirty one night stand underwear out of my purse. I'm willing to admit I have a problem
Dicks are not precious.
After finding out he was married when we were together, I don't trust him.
He said I was so drunk and high that I had a conversation w/ his goldfish. The video shows me clearly conversing as if talking to a person w/ pauses in conversation and everything
The air tonight was full of shame when we saw each other.
Well if u wouldn't have had sex on the front porch last night I think that could have been avoided.
I often wonder if we’re introverted extroverts, but I don’t think so. I think we’re just easily tired scumbags
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