I can actually hear my brain cells scream as they die when she speaks.
Had to use the product locator on on the four loko website to find them at home. Got to go in the backroom of a grocery store to get them. Dedication.
i have now been nicknamed the screamer on the first, third, fourth, & six floor by all the ra's. only two more floors to go before i cover the entire dorm.
i just thought that perhaps i was done with the "boning on someone else's futon" stage of my life. guess not.
He said and I quote "Had to beat one off in the Burger King bathroom before I went over." Thats somebody that takes pride in his work.
Please stop letting me make out with hot lesbians.
Definitely not. I may be your best friend, but first and foremost I am a guy. Please continue.
It's was about average. But he had a tat on his thigh that said "pull-out n' rollout" so I won't have to worry about a round two request.
The best part about drinking boxed wine is you can blow up the bag and use it as a pillow
Crazy fun. I think I got a concussion from a stripper
In tonight's episode of Travis' Fucked up Sex Life, Travis breaks into a building at Tulane to have sex with an attractive Asian man.
I don't think I have face palmed that many times in such a short period. And I've worked tech support.
Wait you actually sent a text to your self saying “love you I miss you"?
A respectable fucking: good but like I don't want to get kicked out of my hotel room
Yeah, let's go with that. Fuck that weak moment of complete honesty I just had.
I just bartered a blowjob for the ex-fiancée's engagement ring. FTW!
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