Go study a dick amy that's outrageous
I guess you can say it's a tradition... whoever brings home the ugliest guy has to do all the cleaning the next day
couldnt find a condom. used a surgical glove instead. actually worked and the sex was great. thanks nursing school
She talked about nothing but beanie babies for 45 minutes. I'm never getting high with her again.
I can see why you broke up with her now... it was like having sex with a corpse.
Remember the girl passed out in front of my fireplace?
the back of my hand read, "say no to drugs." my palm read, "say yes to shots." when the fuck did I write that?
My lower body still feels like its been through a garbage disposal and a trash compactor. In that order.
I cannot believe he got soft mid fuck. I just hope he bought that horrible impression you did of my dad. I love you though, you came in clutch tonight.
It was the least I could do after throwing up in your purse.
I just caught myself watching and Irish step dance documentary in my underwear drinking nyquil through a straw at 2 in the afternoon. today's off to a good start.
I shaved last nite, you should see my cock it looks like a beautiful skyscraper
She took a six hour road trip with me so I could have revenge sex with my ex's brother. That is the definition of a best friend.
Hey, dude, is Kevin still passed out on your porch?
Yeah. I'm gonna go leave a pitcher of bloody mary next to him in case he's still alive.
Pray for me.. I'm like the lonely vagina in a sea of sworming dicks
you never know when your going to find a surprise from me in your bed...it keeps you on your toes.
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