Bc you can definitely buy condoms if ur a 14 year old girl
As heartfelt as your proposal was- I will NOT marry for money- especially to someone who still owes me $700. You r officially pathetic!!
All these guys look like the American Apparel version of Jesus...
I think you came in my ear last night and I had to pick it out infront of my kids in class today
Can you tell me why I have pubes stuck in my teeth?
My boobs grew. They knew we were going to vegas.
ok, my life is complete.... the cops AND the paramedic just made a Mean Girls reference...
The entire time I'm blowing him she's in the back seat lecturing me on the reasons why you're not suppose to do that while they're driving...
Ok here's the state of the situation: We're alone in a strange city with strange people with nothing but alcohol and sprite, I think we're gonna make it.
One minute you were celebrating, the next you were bleeding all over your Nikes.
We learned many a lesson today about drug use in canoes
I feel like shit, and I can't get the band aids off my nipples.
You know you threw a brownie at my head last night. And said you did it to defend the turtles honer....
He called my vagina "the man cave", and I found it charming
we should most definitely have a fire extinguisher in the apartment. like... for sure
Randomize
