I can hear the grilled cheese talking to me. "Let me in there!" they wanna get inside me
Thanks again for letting me crash last nite. Sorry I banged your little brother.
I don't know how I got that girl last night. I feel like seal right now sans the scars
Best friends brother. Beat that.
he just kept saying "come on iron man, you can do this!" to himself the whole time..
If I asked you to guess what I'm doing right now how many guesses would it take to get to really high eating an apple bumping techno
I'm not judging you. Just know that you could be Queen of The World. Instead you're 5:28 p.m ponging. I hope you're at least winning
You gotta hand it to him. 6 hours in a new town and he's already fuck someone, had his ass kick by her bf, and rounded up a posse of people to kick this guys ass.
I just moved 6 traffic cones blocking a row of traffic. I got applause.
Come get your sister, she's waving a shoe about and threatened to "teabag the Shit" out of the doorman because she can't check the shoe in.
Oh I'm definitely going to hit on her, there's no question about that. What I meant by playing it cool is I'm not going to mount her on sight.
I was chasing pulls of fireball with bites of a bagel and yelling at people to take tequila shots with me. I shouldn't be allowed to go out alone.
Stay calm. It's a titty bar. A ring of cocaine will protect you.
It's only 3 AM. There's still time to get arrested today.
Is it wrong that I have to schedule a family Sunday brunch around my mom's weekly banging of my stepdad. And why do I even know this??
Randomize
