Renamed my iPod as 'the titantic' so when I plug it in it's says 'the titantic is syncing.'
I just peed in the Schreyer honors college shrubbery. Thanks honors students, you're finally good for something
Sonogram pictures belong on a fucking fridge...NOT FACEBOOK!!
She was perfectly content just sitting in the middle of everyone blowing bubbles in the air.
I've hooked up with six guys in my ethics class next semester...I feel like I've failed already
I think I'm drunk. That wine was old. I found it behind the water heater next to the mouse poison.
I can't feel my brain.
i figure now that we're number one party school im obligated to black out at least 4 days a week. andddd go.
We're high and this subject came up and I'd like a female opinion: if you were a dude, what would you do if a girl tried to give you a foot job?
He stared me down while singing "Let Me Love You" to me while we were having sex. I don't know whether to marry him or file a restraining order.
SOMEONE WITH THE TWITTER HANDLE "METHLAB" FAVORITED THAT PICTURE
I think someone cast a spell on the lazy stoner rich boy stereotype and it came to life and called me.
Hey, you should go to your facebook ASAP... i'm guessing you're wasted but you just uploaded a picture of someones dick...and everyones taking bets now if its Rick or Mikes..
I was puking for like ten minutes when I realized my parents were fucking in the shower and were afraid to come out
I would give away three of my own ribs to be able to eat myself out.
...ew
He has the fingertips of a God
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