i'd rather walk the sahara in a snuggie with no water than take a bicycle cab
Apparently I signed "I love you" on my bar tab last night.
Mike and I just ate the lobster we found in the toilet
Sitting in a bubble bath with my bong, how's your morning?
I was handcuffed to a girl for half-an-hour. And I'm still the only one in the house who didn't get laid.
In case any of you were wondering, kyle is alive. He also intends to do the same thing tommorow night and the night after.Goodnight everyone
she gave me head while i watched the '98 Rose Bowl on espn classic. Ryan Leaf really was a huge bust
The problem with Wednesday evening drinking is that no gets to my level. It's like like a one man party. But it's a goood party.
Seriously I just dipped a banana in vodka I really need to stop drinking
That night just went downhill after you pissed yourself while sitting on my lap
Well, during the ride home I had to personally apologize to both of her breasts.
I'm making myself the patron saint of bisexuality
Sorry for peeing on you and your bed last night.
I am eating croutons on my bathroom floor. Are you happy?!
I can't talk, I can't walk, I think I'm twitching and I'm not even sure if I'm typing this. Help
Randomize
