I think tonya harding is in my dwi class!
Ask her how she and Jeff Gillooly split the cats after the divorce.
I just gave the bartender my number in roman numerals. If she figures it out, she's worth a shot
Why is there an empty beer bottle in the shower?
Why wouldn't there be.
Tuesday night just isn't my ideal coke binge night.
I know everyone screamed lady cop instead of cops. I wanted to apologize to her for our chauvinism
I left boob prints on the hood of his car. Something to remember me by.
I need to stop smoking. I just talked to corn.
your bra might or might not be a decoration on me and my roomies xmas tree haha
And have you ever tried to explain a hickey to your own grandmother?
Awareness is good for change and all, but ignorance is bliss. I like bliss.
A thong just fell out of my purse in front of my whole class maybe I should stop using this morning class as my walk of shame
I'm sorry I was just sleeping on the kitchen floor I'm too dead to think
Three times. Three times I left home yesterday in search for sex, and three times I returned un-orgasmed.
well, unfortunately the rug burn lasted longer than the actual relationship
she just sent our roommates a message asking them for a parakeet. are you gonna call later?
Randomize
