doug butabi!
steve butabi!
hotties wanna shake it
IM SAVING ALL MY LOVE FOR YOU
I don't want it.
its not like she's the last girl on the planet with symmetrical breasts and great skin
He's coming back with me for the week. It took me saying "I don't wanna drive myself home... I'm better as a passenger giving road head" for him to jump at it. Rack another one up for my magical openings.
I made a Wendy's employee say fuck this and quit because I started flipping out due to a baked potato shortage. Of course I had a good night
I was having the most awesome dream about onion rings and you hit me and told me to stop touching you...WTF?
That freshman kid successfully snuck into a college party, got caught, proceeded to jump out of a second story window without getting a scratch then met up with us a block away and somehow managed to get a bottle of grey goose in the meantime. He is truly blessed by the alcohol gods
The random guy I fucked from craigslist said I had the best smile. I take compliments where i can get them
She ran over a curb, took out a yard-sale sign and hit a fence before admitting to me that she may be losing her vision "a bit". Never letting grandma drive again.
I hope you get some kind or rare disease that makes your dick ties itself in a knot for fucking her you lucky bastard.
I arrived home at 7am wearing nothing but my underwear and a fedora. I ate half a dozen deviled eggs. Put Katy Perry on repeat. And cried myself to sleep. We cannot go out on Thursday anymore
Her rack rivals that of the deer I shot last season. You need to get after that.
He texted me at 3am that you cut your hand at the bar and were bleeding all over.
I woke up to a text thinking you bled out at a bar, turns out you got your butthole licked.
i keep replaying things i did last night. and remembering new things. and its a constant cycle of torture
In any case. I fucked a married couple recently. Know what a straight person would've done there? Been super weirded out by 1/3 of the genitals there, that's what.
Randomize