Wow so 15 missed calls, a vm AND a text saying come downstairs? ...And where is downstairs? Explain.
never have phone sex with a hardcore republican during this health care crisis . just dont.
I mean I found and stalk his moms facebook.. that obsessed.
my resolution for 2011 is to fuck him whenever he wants it. this year I'm going above and beyond the call of booty.
You were pretty dunk by the time you introduced the vase as your best friend.
Also I climbed atop a mailbox with a toilet paper hat and a wolverine claw made of glowsticks, screaming at passers-by that they were going to die. Control me
I guess he was telling a totally normal story about being a lifeguard and I wouldn't stop screaming "THAT'S LUDICROUS" at random intervals.
Just induced vomiting to put out a carpet fire.
Everyone is cheering
I liked a picture of him with his pants around his ankles, if that doesn't say I'm into you, I don't know what does.
My mom got me high and then dropped me off at a church.
I've abandoned trying to find a logical explanation of your life.
Those tiny little fruit fly looking mofos. They fly past the phone and I grabbed them like Daniel-San
She knocked me and my drink to the ground with her ass. I have never been mad at someone for having a glorious booty.
I should become a firefighter. Who uses his cock to fight fires. Like a Superhero.
She proceeded to flip everyone off then open a Heineken with her teeth.
I'm not even 100% sure what it is, but if it involves Thor and Doritos, I'm in
Randomize
