thats it. im googling how to make you boobs smaller. this is getting out of control.
There really should be an "avoid ghetto" option on my GPS.
just saw an advertisement for the rock in the tooth fairy...can you say rock bottom?
We left around 4 AM after the stripper showed no mercy and dropped into a split on Matt's nose. Massive nosebleed.
My mom said "I don't want to fund your drug problem" so she gave me a gift card to the book store. I now have a 420 page book on growing weed.
she's on the floor slapping my dogs face with slices of pizza
i just called. the lady was really nice. something tells me my schools clinic gets a lot of calls about chlamydia
They went to the hospital to try backflips in the parking lot. Be ready for the call
Well I will be attending the wedding with a flask of wine, potentially with a straw, and POM POMS for cheering purposes. Needless to say I will be well lubricated by your arrival..
I have just figured that it takes exactly 2 and a half rums to clean the bathroom..
He told me "it wants a kiss" WHY HAS THIS HAPPENED WITH 2 DIFFERENT PEOPLE.
Is this the guy that did shots off my ass at the beach? Haha
This is classic penis vs brain.
you got in a fight with your imaginary friend last night when he didn't catch you after a surprise trust fall
strip teases shouldnt end with an expensive car covered in salsa and mayonnaise yet here we are
Randomize
