I just sneezed and had an orgasam..THAT turned on
I'm so ready for finals. She finally agreed to skypesex me from spain so now i'm up until 4am studying every morning waiting for her to get online
I'm gonna wear that dress that makes me look like a slut. You know, the one your sister got arrested in.
Your roommate is pacing with a pen in his mouth flapping like a duck. That brownie got me fucked but not enough to understand this. Come back!
He does that
What do you need? A swimsuit and a liver of steel? What else?
Dude made his own urinal by punching a hole in the wall and pissing in it rather than waiting in line. That is the stuff of legends.
Nope. Too hot. We just sat in my tub with cold water spraying on us drinking coronas. This summer heat is killing my libido slowly
His penis smells like laundry I just wanted to cuddle it
Also I just learned you, Samantha, and I three-way made out at my Halloween party. News to me.
Cheez-its and a bottle of cab...for under $10 you could win this girls heart
Sorry man, but I'd rather do drugs with strangers than watch sports with you. It's not personal, drugs always beat sports.
Yep, that just happened. My mom just gave me a big bag of drugs for my birthday. She even put them in a fancy bag with tissue paper.
You got me 4 pizzas and i just saw this. I'm too drunk for this shit. I just yelled "4 pizzas holy shit!" At the pizza dude
Don't worry dude, I've created a sex logic bomb to stop that sort of thing.
Do you remember the guy that smelled like hot dogs?
Randomize
