chick flicks and taylor swift songs are like porn for desperate singles
they need to just BURY HIM!
New drinking game watching teenage mutant ninja turtles movie and drinking every time raphael says damn, someone says april or ms oneil, and shredder appears And every time we see a mustache
I wishh there was a lost and high section in walmart cause I would be there right now
Is there a nice way of saying 'touch my penis or i dont really wanna hangout"?
i'm waiting for the less fat version of him to text me
Is there a nice way to say "I like you, but I hate your dick?"
i just dedicated my kegstand to your breasts
In case you were unaware playing with rabbits on ecstasy is the greatest thing ever. I feel like I'm ODing on adorable right now.
this is terrible I feel like i'm trapped in a cage with a wild republican
I'm having a really difficult time dealing with the fact that my dog now shares a name with Snooki's crotch-spawn.
Incase you were wondering. Cooking naked turns into sex. Sex and cooking may lead to house fire....
I was just informed that I asked for a glass of wine at the police station
I'm sure it would have gone very well with the cigarette you lit there.
Not only did I sleep with the guy but I think I may have called my work and quit to go work for him.
Starting to realize that fucking everyone I come across isn't the most... "adult"... coping method.
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