Had a drunk dream about being in a six story taco bell. Oh my god the menu was incredibleeee
Sunscreen. In my vag. I hate summer sex.
theres still like 7 beers in the gutter from the roof party we had last night. i dont know how we got up there. but we need to get those beers down.
Not sure why I sent you a picture of a black bear last night but it seemed like a good idea at the time.
Just come back with most of your limbs...and your dick. Please and thank you
No. Her boobs are the one spot of warmth in my life right now and I will not let you take them from me.
Your ankle brace is here and the saw is charged. Grab some vodka that cast is coming off tonight.
Watching videos from last night and u go "I should be the president, I can get whatever I want w my tits"
New rule: I am no longer allowed to speak
trying to figure out what happened last night by looking around the apartment.
naked man under the piano. THE PLOT THICKENS.
We had sex on a lawn chair while fireworks were going off last night. It was unavoidable that I got mosquito bites all over my ass
Is drinking before noon still a bad idea if you invent an amazing cocktail?
One does not fall in love, one falls flat on the their face after leaving a bar
but, alas, I am not the lady in the streets. I'm simply the freak in the sheets.
For both our sake, we've decided to ban watching combat sports before sex
Once you've had an oral std scare, you're an expert.
Randomize
