i went to throw her on my bed and threw her straight in to my bike
No, don't worry. We're not going to get THAT arrested.
Would you like to blur the lines between friendship and lesbianism tonight?
I bet you think you're really funny for switching my line of coke with a line of protein powder.
you're close to getting here right? Because if you're still not here and I have to get dressed to answer the door for the pizza guy, i'm tipping him $100 on your credit card to spite you
All I can remember is being told by a guy named Kyle to stay in the corner until the cops left. Then waking up on a porch outlined in beer cans 8 blocks from my house. Pregaming for college.
Shit. I'm running the whole hotel right now. The front desk girl had to run home because she left her vibrator on the counter and her brother, mom, and grandmother surprised her and are showing up to her place before she gets off work. This will end badly no matter what.
All I have in my new place is coke and a treadmill.. it's workout Wednesday
Just passed the animal clinic parking lot I had to pull over to puke in during welcome week. I can almost hear the dogs barking at my shame again.
I've literally exhausted all the videos on pornhub. It took like 4 years, but I've done it. I did that quicker than I finished college
I love you, and I just washed my hair in my work sink with handsoap.
This couple is walking their pig around campus
i dont think sending her flowers will make her forgive you running over her foot.
Yeaaaaa...im super disgusted with myself lol...which is interesting, considering all of the things I have done in my life...
First time not coming to this class high in a month and a half, never again will i put myself thru this torture
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