Did I ever tell you that the first person i made out with cried?
Now i know why people get high. I sat in the same chair for about 3 hours and the only thing i worried about was how far away my chinese food was.
her face looked like how i feel after Taco Bell
I really need to stop coming home drunk and lint rolling my rabbit.
This girl caught me staring at the cat but stroking the computer because it was closer, which is why I hate blunts.
She may be a slut, but at least she's a dedicated slut. She's always super tan and has her shit shaved in really cool designs.
studying for my Anatomy final and masturbating to Japanese porn are practically the same thing
E drugging s springing. Ease dnt Kate. To t e. ess e I meant thou.
He dodged my hug and greeted me with a fist bump. I slept with him the night before. The only thing worse would have been a greeting by chest bump.
Watching her eat just hurts me
The best part is every argument that she makes from here on out will be refuted by "Oh hey remember that time you shit yourself wearing someone else's sweatpants at a frat party?"
She sprained her ankle last night trying to flash me.
I figured if he was OK cheating on his gf with a guy, he'd be OK with me posting his number to m4m Craigslist Ads
I literally just want someone to fuck me and buy me cheeseburgers. I don't even want a relationship at this point. Just a chew toy and some food.
Your boobs are like a folk legend.
Randomize
