I just was on a 20min team conference call where I didn't speak, I used a Gus Johnson soundboard online to answer questions asked to me...the highlight of 2010
the can pyramid on my head actually reached a decent height before I moved.
i normally make it a rule to leave when white people start rapping... but they had blow.
Guy in our group took down a chick in a wheelchair last night.
I got arrested for "public intoxication". Fuckers threw me out of the bar into public... i mean shit they have thirsty Thursdays. And I get thrown out for self serve Sundays plus a citation.
Welp I just blew a load probably the size of a small pond if not a lake
Who the fuck is this
We should install the 'help i've fallen and can't get up' buttons on our bodies for this weekend. Birthday weekend calls for extra measures.
I could not actually bring myself to utter the phrase "donkey cock" in front of my father. Not possible.
the bruises from climbing out of the window last night make sitting at my desk impossible. legit excuse to not study right?
Apparently when it was last call I jumped up on the bar and told everyone to get the fuck out, which was immediately followed by a round of applause from the bouncers/bartenders and my tab getting paid as well.
Like what did he say to his host family? The girl I causally sleep with on the weekends is coming over?! And they thought "well lets feed her dinner"
I'm putting my hangover kit in my car for the trip to work tomorrow morning. Dedication
I'm not saying I would have to be high to sleep with him. I'm just saying it would probably help.
I shaved an Xmas tree into my junk.... I placed your present underneath.
A 'Bear Fight' is a car bomb followed by a Jaeger bomb. Fuckface and I do those on slow days. Tonight, we did a 'Polar Bear on Fire'. Fireball, a bear fight in the middle, and end with rumple minze.
I made friends at the beach bars tonight. Several were worried for my well being.
Randomize
