Will you still be my friend if I read and enjoyed Twilight?
No
just because you dressed up as a brontosaurus doesn't mean you can poop in my yard and roar at my neighbors
Just saw a girl in a wheelchair puke then rally. Diversity matters.
Made out with me girlfriend while she was peeing. all time high, or all time low?
We have nothing in common but the sex rocks, would it be awful to develop a drug habit just to have a topic of conversation?
I performed "get broken glass out of my shoulder" surgery last night... Drunk, with a what-a-burger straw.
Oh my god I peed in a park last night and then tried to set off fireworks with a group of middle-aged men
Just visited the liquor store.... for the 4th time today. shits gonna get weird
Just participated in the saddest thing: Cheetos. Handjob. I have lost at life
I also slapped not one but two bananas on the ass, twerked in public, and I think I made out with someone
I never turn down an adventure. My life is like a sexual Lord of the Rings.
Because you put the dick in ridiculously amazing boyfriend. And you deserve to have nice things happen to your penis. That's why.
I have dined. Now I want to get fucked.
Apparently we fucked, I kicked him out, then he came back and we did it on the coffee table and in the kitchen.
So. Um. Hypothetically speaking...how would one get a squirrel out of the house?
Randomize