I had a good time, probably would have a bigger headache today if you were in town.
im going to pretend im pregnant so i can eat a lot then i will accidentally fall down the stairs
I woke up wearing no shirt sleeping next to a half-eaten grilled cheese.
Well did you call the grilled cheese yet? Or r u waiting the usual 3 days?
I'm at the bar and I just saw some unnecessary and accidental cooter...sometimes I think girls need a license to go out pantyless in public.
he kept kneeing me like he was playing footsies... only then i realized it was his dick.
sleeping like a two year old who chased ambien with a bottle of whiskey.
you ate skittles off the table like a hungry hungry hippo. it was awesome.
what is with people arguing over soda or pop? to be honest i thought it was just called chaser
He kept pouting and saying i cockblocked him and I kept yelling "I'm sorry...but the cock was never out to be blocked"
Whiskey and I have a long and stories tradition of excellence
The holidays are too long. I always run out of adderall before I run out of family. you got any left?
i sent my dealer a picture of the money i would pay him. i also told him i would pay him in cheez-its if he would prefer that.
6 more days and it'll be a year since i slept with him and never went home
Everytime I come home this stoned I masturbate in the shower for that long, its like my lonely ritual. Accept me.
I hope that will b the last time i take off my pants in the chemistry building.
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