Just think, the more you drink, the more options you'll have of people you want to hook up with.
So I got my period. Finally. In related news, I reinstated my belief in God.
Is it sad i was sitting here thinkin how i would only fuck Rob Pattinson if he was glittery at said time.
I have no idea what's going on.... I just want to wear my horse sweatshirt and drink vodka.
I lost track of him after he threw the handful of pennies at the 2 female cops and ran into the darkness. I heard a tazer and a scream. All that is left is his flip flop. Its like hes drunken man-derella.
OK am i seriously the only one who thinks Cocaine Tuesdays is a bad idea?
Dick in my face. Dick in my face. Dick in my face. Dick in my face. Dick in my face. Dick in my face. Dick in my face. Dick in my face.
we told the drug dealer that our car was dead and we needed a jump so he would bring the drugs to us...
I just had a great idea for an etsy shop. Sell all the shit bitches leave from one nighters
I have alcoholic tendencies but you know what? College
Apparently drunk me thought it was a good idea to buy $100 worth of band aids and stick them all over everything in the apartment.
Wanna get mid day margaritas tomorrow if I'm still alive
My roommate just woke up to me masturbating in our room. I figured this would happen eventually.
I'm so high I have morphed into the monopoly man. Or maybe the Pringles guy. I don't know but I have a mustach now
Someone made a mask out of a crown royal bag. Can't decide if tacky or awesome.
Randomize
