Blackout barefoot maybe pregnant
Good decisions....
Just got blue box Mac and cheese things are looking up
is not sure whether or not everyone at the club last night calling me a-easy is a good thing?
In my defense it was my birthday and I really wanted to do it.
Just got Netflix. Dexter Marathon. Still in my PJ's. Only eaten cookie dough and drinking a 40. I have never reeked so strongly of lonely .
she walked in on me snorting my prozac. there was no way to convince her i was doing a good thing.
Annd you probably wouldn't of fallen down the stairs if you didn't insist on taking 'finale shots'
Just scrubbed my teeth for a good twenty minutes. Herpes is afraid of toothpaste, right?
He just fingered me to the Lion King soundtrack. And when he left he turned dramatically and said "I'll be back after work. Be prepared." Taint ALL the childhood memories.
You told me that you were mad me because I wouldn't let you 'explore my castle'. Then you said I smelled like a hospital and passed out.
"Little drunk?" Honey you were "livetweeting" Sublime's "Sublime" album while it was playing in his car, and at one point you said you hoped they play Santeria. "Little drunk" doesn't cover it.
Haha he puts me in a mood mix of annoyed and... "just get in my pants"
I just took the batteries out of the xbox remote so she could replace the dead ones in her vibrator If that's not love I don't know what is
Don't send me nudes asking me to come fuck you on lunch break then send me a video of kids you're babysitting.
Are we planning this because I am online looking for places with a Mechanical bull
The bouncers found you passed out on the toilet. They tried to move you but you refused and repeatedly shouted that you wanted to go out like Elvis.
Randomize
