Getting fucked up met up rando with a girl I confesswed my love for last night. weird, going with it
seriously i just wanna be friends
pass
i dont think my parents would of encouraged me to save years of birthday money if they knew what i would eventually spend it on
The only thing the cop asked me is..... "how are you still alive"?
Im so tired of dysfunctional exs fucking up my relationships with future dysfunctional exs
you took the tequila shot and then procceded to eat the lime..we told you to spit it out but you just straight face kept chomping
I have the perfect view of a sexy blonde in yoga pants stretching from the shoulder press machine. I'll be here all night. So glad I came high.
Ur here with me in spirit. Now run free. Run free
It's stupid hot. I just want to be laying in a bathtub full of margaritas
He was just lying on my lap in the backseat screaming how if the cops came he was a blanket.
Do you still have "be bumpin" written on your ass in glitter pen? Who brings a glitter pen to a bar? Or pulls there ass out for that matter...
We had sex on a dog bed..
The struggle bus crashed, rolled down a mountain, and went on fire, and I was on it ugh.
I don't remember much, but I remember he called me the dick whisperer, so it must not have been all bad.
Her cop pants made me imagine I was riding a unicorn and by unicorn I mean her face
Tonight I totally got eaten out in the old school photo booth in the mall. Will send you pics of the photo reel asap
Randomize
