there is a puppy in the bar... no really i didnt steal this one
do you believe in love at first sight?
awwwwww =)
yea.. so can i have your sisters number? thanks!
I do regret it. But I can't unfuck her
I walk in to see her roommate half naked on their stripper pole. I knew I was home.
shes got that 'its my party i can do meth if i want to' mentality. i like that.
I wasn't hungover this morning. My head just hurt because someone tried to suction cup a dildo to my forehead.
they night at the roxbarryed us. came out of nowhere,bought us shots, and then the big one licked my hand? we got out of that noise.
Something's wrong. Everything's on fire. Unless it was like that before. Then everything's alright.
Everything sucks i just wanna cry and smoke a bowl and pet my cat and die. All at the same time
FULL ON LADY WOOD. YOU CAN SEE THE VEIN
After owing so much in back child support they should make vasectomy a mandatory
He was jealous of me and threatened by me. I'm like, just cause I could fuck your girlfriend doesn't mean I'm going to
She's not even my type. She doesn't have a penis or a drug problem
Yeah, so, that moment when the repair guy comes in and you see your cock ring on the counter one second before he does.
Idk. The bad part of me thinks it's a good idea. The bad part is also the stupid part.
I don't care. It's wine Wednesday get your gameface on.
Randomize
