you ended the night by relentlessly sucking on my hips bone and hand demanding milk. you said it was because you were a tiger
do you think he would believe thats it not really my period, and that i ate a lot of licorice?
I hate drunken dyslexia, i thought she said "someone to do" not "something to do" long story short i now have a restraining order.
Absolutely. Last time I signed up for a softball league I had sex with my high school economics teacher.
im swimming of confusion and bacardi. where do i go from herrrrrre
I was so drunk, I was kissing everyone. Their sexual preference was none of my concern.
I want to get my vag crammed with complete loss of every bit of dignity I have left by this man from every angle on every flat surface that exists. That is all.
Lmfao I'm not trying to have a pissing contest over acid with my mom.....
You see it tends to piss fathers off when they find their daughter in the arms of a shirtless guy that neither he nor his daughter knows.
If throwing a bottle across the bar, hitting a skank in the head and not getting caught was an Olympic event, you'd bring merica the gold every time
I love 4am trips to the ER. I feel so responsible for actually making it all the way here.
"what's it like being a dancer turned stoner" well, i can change the netflix using my feet mid bongrip, so there's that.
As long as you keep bringing fries home, i'll keep being naked when you get home
He fell asleep on top of me after sex. For 3 hours. Poor guy worked too hard.
Optimism doesn't exist before 2pm nor do any other emotions.
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