New dating criteria: what kind of ex will this person be?
She literally thanked me for asking before I put in her ass
I didn't wanna be that girl that took a shit in the ocean..
I feel like my teeth are sweating.
Only you would get a date out of getting hit by a car
im sure shes a lovely person but i cant be friends with someone that doesnt drink. its just not right.
Maybe he meant to say like I love fucking you? But just forgot the fucking part.. That's what I'm telling myself.
What do you wear to apply at a strip club?
Yeah I'm at the doctors getting a shotand don't know how to tell them I'm still probably drunk from last night
OHMYGOD I LITERALLY JUST FINISHED JERKING OFF AND MY MOM BUSTS IN AND HANDS ME A BABY WHAT THE FUCK IS GOING ON IN MY HOUSE JESUS H CHRIST!
It hurts to hear and I can smell shapes.
I love 3rd shift and working at a hotel I just had a late night booty call while I was getting paid..could life get any better??
please let it be arousing that I used numbers to figure out how well I'd give you head
PokemonGo as navigation to get some at 5:13 AM. Life choices, yo.
got the runs at the club last night. wondering when it'll be safe to show my face again.
Randomize
