well if you came here i would keep you awake :*
did you just kiss me??? ... dude, im not gay
I got so high last night I started crying because i couldn't stop thinking about how scary space is
yes we were fucking thats why i put "watching a movie" in quotations
There are sesame seeds in my vagina. This cannot be explained with logic.
I also have a full keg. I'm thinking about crashing a party, they can't get mad if I bring a keg of beer.
I called for backup and had two guys carry him to the shower. The bigger guy offered to wash his hair.
Going to the beach. Greeting Sandy with a blunt. Wish us luck!
That would make regret #10
He was more like the original regret
I told her the party couldn't handle my playlist LAZERBAWLS and I was right. Cops in the basement, orgy in the kitchen, jousting in the living room.
Sex and sushi don't even sound good right now... I might be on my death bed. To my Liz, I leave my extensive movie collection and my drinking supplies. To Olive I leave my car. Cause every Scottish terrier needs a 2010 Camaro.
I just plagiarized Dr. Curtis Connor's ideology from Spider-man in an essay on genetically engineered embryos. College: academic integrity at its finest.
why do you keep saying "she looks like a porn star" like thats a bad thing?
It's almost like he's actually taking my commentary and criticism to heart, but simultaneously succumbing to some primal urge to wear less clothing each time.
If Dr Phil has taught me anything about myself, it’s that I can seriously relate to those women who fake their pregnancies.
Gonna do a few lines then clean my room so I can feel like my life is somewhat in order.
Randomize
