I think I just got seasick
you're not on a boat
he has a waterbed.
Mom's drinking. Just asked her if she was good to walk back to the condo. She seemed unsure until she remembered she brought the GPS. We are 2 blocks from the condo.
I found them on a couch next to the sidewalk screaming at cars with a megaphone. Kevin chased the mailman with a jello shot.
Yes, i finally made it. but let me tell you...i can smell myself right now in class right now, this scent is called alcoholism.
Way to high for badminton right now. This is gonna be a shitshow.
he told me i smelled like babies and pine needles and he wanted to bathe with me. new boyfriend is not a keeper
I woke up and he was just feeling up my stomach. I felt like buddha and he was rubbing my belly for good luck. never again.
On our way there. Drinking my beer out of a coffee pot. Cuz it's my bday
Remember the couple Steve and I heard and rated their sex based on the bed squeaks cuz we couldn't sleep through the noise? We got them back. They turned up the radio to drown us out.
I don't think you should be sorry for such memorable sex that I yell your name when you aren't around.
So the " I'm gay but curious" thing worked. You owe me 50 bucks.
He doesn't want a full on relationship, he provides me with all the weed I can handle and gives me multiple mind blowing orgasms. He's my soul mate.
I feel as though my head has drastically changed shape
I had sex with him and I blame the Doritos
I tried to fuck you in my bathroom while my parents were in the next room. I am a clusterfuck of fun.
Randomize