bathroom sex at kohls isnt as trashy as it seems
Farmville is her only friend.
he just made me youtube cheetahs running and he thinks he is in a pool
I swear to God, I just heard my guardian angel tell us to stop. I think we should listen.
you fully convinced the taxi driver that we were in a race
Unless you can cure my hangover with your penis I'm not interested.
IM A SHIT SUOW THE GUYS AT THE PMACR TOLD ME AJDBO I WEBF RO WALNARY WITH OU SHOES! I WASHT LLOWES FLOWERSA
Sometimes while peeing I'll go hands free, put my arms up by my chest and make claw hands, and pretend I'm a new type of dinosaur called Dickosaurus Rex.
i need to un-sleep with a few of those brothers before we ever go back to that house again. i'm serious. i will not be a fraternity groupie.
Watching the Walking Dead, snuggled up naked, and drinking a beer. No better way.
If ever there was a tweet to describe your life, it's this.
Let this be a lesson to you, parmesan cheese crumbles are not a good substitute for coffee creamer, no matter how high you are
You know more about his cock specs than his childhood. Proud of you
I threw up all of my purple drank and thats really important
i woke up wearing a life jacket, holding on to a footlong hotdog, and had on a mr. hustle 1995 shirt on
good night
Not going to make it tonight. Some cougar at the bar just told me she has dibs on my dick.
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