Oh KT! There was no tea in those Long Islands...
Well he told me I'd never be a wizard, and so I responded with you'll never have a big penis. After that we both just sat there and cried.
How does me getting a new dildo make you crave olive garden
test run with donkey pinata disastrous. broken glass and tequila EVERYWHERE
Jake and I will do a protection ritual for ur dick I don't know where she has been
hey dude, just got with the girl in H4. so mark H off the apartment list
haha we are half through our lease and already checked off 17 letters
There is no sno cone on earth better than alone naked time. Side note: text when you all are headed home.
WHY THE FUCK IS MY BATH TUB FILLED WITH MUD?!
1. You were drunk 2. You wanted a mud bath\n3. We tried to talk you out of it, but you kept throwing dirt at us
Nautical themed porn is also great bc someone usually wears a captains hat
I know he's married but I don't know how else to show sympathy! Nudes are my only emotional currency.
Me and mom just bonded over our mutual desire to bang Mark Ruffalo. I'm not sure how to feel about this.
You've changed since you got that strap on
If he has a beard, chances are, that’s an open invitation to sit on his face
Made it to the top o the stairs ALIVE YES FUCJ YOU GRAVITY
Have I told you i love you?
there's no need we are two peas in a naughty pod of fuckery
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