is drinking for groundhog day legit?
well you blacked out on MLK day and we pregamed arbor day, so yes
i think you know its gunna be a bad day when it starts with throwing up into a red plastic cup
he asked if he could put his cape on while he was still inside me.
Isn't that the only thing she's good at? Complaining and blow jobs?
I feel if a girl leaves my house the next morning feeling degraded and in desparate need of a shower, then I have succeeded.
his mom found me in the closet hiding and the only thing i could think of was to sit there and wave.
I want to hold her baby but I'm afraid I'll give it a contact buzz
I just want uncharted vagina. Fresh and ripe.
whatever buzz i had immediately ended when i saw her run through a sliding glass door
whatever. i almost had sex in a car with someone passed out in the back seat. phone's not my biggest worry.
I've fallen from my one moral pedestal
Suspicion confirmed. my mom has her nipples pierced
Way to crack the case Nancy Drew
I think my sex life is about to turn into a war on two fronts
Like, I don't need to know your life dude. I just need you to suck my tits.
Omg worst high ever. I'm watching Parks and Rec, and all i can think about is how andy, leslie, and tom are my closest friends. Forever alone.
Randomize