so wait, they're fucking, but it doesn't count as cheating cause they only do anal?
don't wear any deodorant. we have to do everything we can to sabotage this wedding
it only takes four glasses of wine for me to ride an elephant with a stranger.
all the sharp corners in my house are covered with litter foam blocks. al set for partying
he started drinking at 9am with grey goose and pancakes. He IS my hero.
He asked me if I could call his penis destroyer... Uhh SOS.
I'm pretty sure we organized our beer pong teams according to who's been circumsized...
These shoes are way too nice for a walk of shame. Its how I keep myself in line.
I'm taking stock of m life as of right now and my Friday night plans are to drink a 30 rack by myself so I can have a tv stand when it is finished
He corrected my use of grammar... I think we both know that means i have to sleep with him
Me and him were fist fighting in the back of the cab and I offered the driver a 100% tip to call him an asshole. I don't know why.
and then i signed some dudes back with a turkey hand print in honor of thanksgiving
Please hurry. I'm the only one here who's not an attorney with a trophy wife.
That's a really terrible idea.
Awesome I'm gonna do it then, thanks for the input
Last night when I blacked out, I ate Chef Boyardee. I never want to be that drunk ever, ever again.
Randomize
