do you think he would believe thats it not really my period, and that i ate a lot of licorice?
Yeaaah, so cabbie laughed at me, and said, "rough nite? Let me find you some music" . apparently OPP is the appropriate ride of shame soundtrack.
I swear every time I make the effort to make my hair look nice, someone jizzes in it.
we were both as far on opposite edges of my bed as possible this morning. id say work is gonna be a little uncomfortable from now on
Apparently I had an idea for a cooking show and then proceeded to throw cookies at people.
The black hole just entered the party man, I can literally see guys starting to move towards her.
We crashed a rave, threw glitter all over Gay Dan and the bartender, broke a chandelier and called ourselves the Kings of Neon.
I got drunk enough that when camel suggested jumping off the pier, I thought it was a fantastic plan. Also my blood hurts.
These fuzzy pants work great for sleeping, taking an exam, getting baked and watching the hobbit. I guess i'm not changing pants for 72 hours.
I swear to god little potato creatures live inside Belvedere bottles and claw at your throat as you swallow shots.
Are you still feeling it? I'm in the bathtub. The water doesn't work but it's okay because I'm wearing pants.
No,she came up with a new game: "Where is the most interesting place I can show Drew my asshole?"
I have never encountered a chode in the wild
Woke up in a cemetery. Puked in front a funeral ceremony that was going on.
It's not even noon yet and I just fucked my professor's son in the psych lab..it's gonna be a great day.
Randomize
