i just ate something from under my fingernail. i dont know what it was, but it tasted half decent
We were just about to get down to business and shes like oh the olympics! and jumped up and turned on the tv. cockblocked by freestyle skiing. seriously?
Who won mens moguls?
That canadian guy... bilodeau... but you're missing the point, dude.
You tried to convince our cab driver that your $2 bill was worth $11.70
dude. we need more in our fridge then just beer and applesauce.
You were humming mission impossible as we ran from the cops
the guy in the stall next to me, came in, farted, laughed, and proceeded to give himself some sort of hillbilly pep talk that included the phrase "big pussy".
JAMES WASHOMGTON STATE ATTACKED US
WE'RE FYCKED UL HARDCORW
THE REISLING ATRACEX US
I don't go on dates. I watch tv and play with dicks. dinner is a situation.
How many beers are too many "cause it's Archer Thursday" beers?
i'm currently connecting with my tribal roots aka i just found my recorder from 3rd grade music class... be ready for the recording
drinking from the bathtub cause I'm too lazy to walk downstairs and too thirsty to care
I just gave parenting advice and had a discussion about the distribution of wealth in america...in a bar. I'm starting to think its me and not you lol
How do I have sand in my vagina if we were an hour away from the beach?
well my grandpa saw your dick pic, so why don't you tell me how my day is going
I've got your keys and your panties. You can have one back. Your play honeybuns.
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