Vomit. Vomit. Whatever. You wear a tiara in public.
When we talk. Remind me of these topics, photoshop, my bday, threesomes, and cherekee indians. I swear these are real topics...
New topics to add when we talk, sweden, boxing, and the band journey
I don't know how to say this, but I think you're a fucking bitch and the sooner you die I'll be happier.
Sorry- wrong number! :)
Chugged a beer while being walked to the bathroom by campus police to pour the beers out.
There's somethin not right about having to take the batteries out of your 27 year old boyfriends gameboy to use in your vibrator
Was it high me or sober me who put those Jolly Rancher sticks in the freezer? I'd be soooo impressed if it was high me.
Want to go home, so casually slip my underwear in his pocket. Never seen him grin so big and say goodbye to his friends.
I'm surprised they let us keep partying at that hotel bar, that's like the 3rd time I've had to try blocking the view of him peeing off the balcony. I earn my free drinks.
The more I think about it, the more convinced I am that I'm the solution to all of T-Swift's guy problems.
Why is everyone judging me for telling the cat a bedtime story?
Don't date the locals. They're all tainted.
It's the first weekend of the school year and I'm already selling stuff for booze. Need a microwave?
I don't care. It's wine Wednesday get your gameface on.
Just found out a shooting happened in our parking lot while it was closed this morning. So thaaaaaaaaats fun.
Right. Cuz nothing screams "You made it!" quite like selling your used underwear to strangers you met on the internet.
Randomize
