well, tey weren't taking lap dances as payment today
I just accidentally handed the ticket lady a condom instead of the intended ticket. I am now the official whore of Harry Potter.
What wine goes with Cap'n Crunch?
all i need in life is blowjobs and white cheddar cheezits
Having him eat chocolate out of you is not as romantic as it sounds. I'm still finding pieces.
Either way I should probably pregame on the plane
Haha im Trying. This detox stuff tastes nasty. It's bad when the only thing that came to mind when i took the first sip was how good it would be with Vodka
If my bosses could see, smell or hear me right now they would understand why its a horrible idea to keep the office open sundays
Fucking him was like shopping for my first training bra.. Embarrassing yet extremely useful
What color are my eyes?
Ummmm... 34 C?
I felt so bad for you. Drunk Rachael wanted nothing more than to crawl into the cop car and give you a hug. Luckily Mollied/Barred out Rachael convinced Drunk Rachael this was a terrible idea. So I ran. I have your keys btw
I can't believe I ever hated her sister or friends. They got her some sexy sexy ass lingerie for the honeymoon. I think I love them bitches
She's high and running across rooftops. Yes we're going to end up in A&E again.
I know you've been in hospital with meningitis, but last night I walked into a streetlight and bruised my penis so who's really suffering here
You started singing Baby Shark, screamed you have no idea how it goes, then somehow turned the beat into Bohemian Rhapsody
Randomize
