My bad bro. I had no idea that when i suggested our triva team name be my last abortion tickled, that she would bring up cancun. Stay strong i think she really liked you
I am at The Loft in SoNo, and there are two girls within arms reach that are making out with each other AGGRESIVELY. Like I can see 100% of a boob
For future reference, this is Trevors little sisters phone now. Trevs number is 484 XXX XXXX. Great story tho
Okay call me later ill be watching lifetime and scrubbing throw up off my feet
It's like God knew that was my ex's best friend and punished me. I've never vomited that much in my life.
He came in looking for condoms, iced coffee, and a gas tank. I need to be where he's going.
Heads up. We filled your kiddie pool with kool-aid and vodka. Things are about to get Out. Of. Hand. Quickly.
does it still count as break up sex if it's 4 months later? sorry i'm just looking for an excuse to fuck him.
there is beer in every square inch of this apartment and he hasn't even lived in it for 24 hours. we're playing some game that involves slamming beer, beer pong and smacking people's cups out of their hands.
Wanna go watch Transformers and scream "AMERICA!"? I need a no thought activity
Let's paint friendship bongs
I know it basically makes me the worst feminist ever, but I don't want to kill my own spiders. And I will pay my personal spider hit man with sammiches and unlimited , uninhibited access to my vagina.
That's the last time I get in a car with six rappers headed to god knows where.
so it took us like 45 minutes to get into the party.... then when we wanted to leave we were blocked and forced to stay.
....you got kicked INTO a party??
Nothing will stop me from making the title of my paper "The Great Political Cock Block." Absolutely nothing.
Only I would get an underage 24 hours before turning 21.
Randomize
