Done. Eyebrows are waxed, entire body shaved
I just found out I have a small penis.
Couldn't you tell by how you've NEVER had a girlfriend?
Had sex with the ex last night. Regretting to begin in 5, 4, 3, 2, 1... WHYYYYYYYYYY!
Smoked a bowl on a rollercoaster. Literally ON. Beat that.
This guy kept running around with a blender giving people shots of everclear and vodka. Best. Toga. Party. Ever.
Heard in class today that they replaced our carpet in last years apartment because they couldn't get the smell out, dude we smoked way to much pot last year.
I swear, he has the body awareness of an acid-tripping quadriplegic.
The site I use to study flash cards keeps showing ads for truck companies hiring drivers. It's like the site is saying "hey, we all know there's no hope for you, just give up and Become a truck driver."
no body wants to do anything today cause it's too cold, but a guy can only masturbate so many times a day. Ya know
When confronted with a choice of going home or fucking the band ALWAYS FUCK THE BAND!!
When she said "Tighten your safety belt and hold on!", that should have been a clear sign to me that one should never go off-roading in a rental car. On the bright side, they were able to tow her car out the next morning.
Bottom line; if I'm coming out of my bat cave to do the dishes and get a chicken wing and I have no pants or makeup on and my messy bun looks more like Santa got leprosy and crashed his sled into the back of my head then let me be. That's all I'm saying.
Dick is healthier for you than green beans
The blunt fell in the hottub, i mean i knew she was upset but i didnt expect her to dive for it and come up balling her eyes out...
I walked in the kitchen and heard her saying "We could have been so good together" as she caressed an egg with her cheek.
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