ya dads aren't the best wingmen
There is a distinct lack of front teeth here.
Some girl next to me in class is making a list of whta to pack for spring break & it was a normal list until she put birth control in all caps w/ stars around it
I've taken to hiding pictures of us around his room so that he'll forever feel guilty for dumping me on Valentine's Day... And to potentially cock block any hook ups.
Update is I am officially king of Gettysburg. Tam and I are being threaded like royakt. In bought e ruined a drink
Maybe you should start carrying pepper spray. You are like the Justin Bieber of lesbians.
Are we talking about who knows if I'll get naked pictures of you with a broadsword or who knows if I'll be surprised?
And I feel like pitchers of margaritas accidentally make it down your throat a lot.
I mean, the lady at the Mexican restaurant insisted. She said she would win a prize if she sold another pitcher before noon. And plus I got to wear a sombrero
If your mother gets up on the bar again, I will. The bouncer already had a talk with her earlier.
This is going to be the time I got green body paint on Chris' ceiling all over again...
I only call her for sex and medical advice. She admitted she feels like a worried parent when her phone rings at 5 a.m.
If you've never been partying there before, take Shae with you. Drunk Shae is like a GPS. She found us the only bottle shop still open at four, a pot dealer, and told us all which subway to take to get home. She'd never been to Madrid before. It was awesome.
High-fiving last weekend's hook up in passing on the way to class has given me quite the lady boner.
I mean, if there was a version of you with a penis, you'd fuck it...right? Like just outta curiosity at least
We just did a u turn on the highway to settle a dispute in a game of slug bug
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