True but thats because hes a fetus.
i just want his dick, seriously i'm about to take trifiling lessons. we'll call my alter-ego blair and she will screw his brains out, girlfriend or not.
Getting high on the stoop of a brownstone in the middle oh harlem. Doesn't get much more hey arnold than this.
She took off her pants and it was like seeing an old friend.
A client gave me a bottle of vodka today. And he was hot with a beard. It's like he knows my soul.
Get a piano. I want to have sex on it.
I'm counting my small victories this morning. For instance, I haven't puked at work yet.
I hid a TracFone in her bra. We'll find her tomorrow.
I'm honestly just now recovering from saint Patrick's day.
WINE AND FILM. TALK ABOUT AN UPGRADE FROM NETFLIX AND CHILL.
Dude, I'm telling you, date younger. He brought pizza, made me squirt twice, and then left to immediately go to brunch with his mom.
Guy in my class today said, "I'm pretty sure you think about beer 95% of the time."
I fucked a marine... I told him it was like personal revenge and he said he could live with that and that he didn't mind being used.
You were having sex very loudly, so I felt it necessary to blast the Thong Song, bust out the trusty old airhorn and walk in on you. MY BAD.
don't take this the wrong way, but I'm not drunk but I need you to take me to the ER and you're the most likely to not be drunk now.
Randomize
