Wooohooo! I'm sitting in the car like a creep watching people walk in and out of Blush. Lots of happy people.
Woke up this morning at my parent's house. No idea how I got here... what happened last night? Was it bad?
We using my standards or yours?
I just figured it out. Meghan has the same smile as Sylvester Stallone.
birth control should be required to get into college
I am downstairs in the bar now having a beer...actually I ordered two beers and placed one across from me in front of an open chair. I did this for appearance sake, so nobody knew I was double fisting all alone. I'm getting hungry now. I'm thinking of ordering two meals just to keep appearances up.
I NEED ANOTHER LEVEL OF CAPS TO EXPRESS TO YOU THE MAGNITUDE OF MY FADDEDNESS
I was just hoping for a dick worthy of his established age.
i dont remember how or why, but i now have 3 coupons for a free BJ from Anise stapled to my right arm.
Hung over and there is no way in the world I can make this mess look good today. Only solution is to stay drunk.
Woke up in the ER with a nurse holding my tongue together inside of my mouth and a shattered jaw, the last thing I remember is opening the 151, care to fill me in?
He wore socks while I was giving him head. I couldn't even focus on his penis because of the socks.
The hospital waiting room is starting to become a very familiar place to me.
Btw, the reason I have a black eye is bc I needed to puke so hard yesterday morning; I whipped up the toilet seat so fast that I railed myself in the face. Then spent the rest of the day more carefully puking. Kind of why I'm not in the mood for drinking.
I just said "you do you" to my penis.
He hit me with his bagpipe
Isnt that against the lesbian handbook?
Randomize
