dude on moped wearing crocs...somebody get this guy his man card back
I spit up blood this morning
That's vegas.
I made my rape whistle into a roach clip device. FRESHMAN YEAR!
I was in the shower, he came in, had me give him a blow job, and left. I'm pretty sure I was just booty called. While taking a shower.
I'm this close to masturbating to his profile pics from 2006
i now officially have to be stoned in order to look like my passport when i go to a different country
of course not. I do my best teaching on a hungover monday. I did the research. im still okay with the direction in which my life is headed.
I've been timing it. He's been showering alone for 33 minutes. 4 minutes ago, he said "truth or dare." haven't heard anything since.
We shall study the pictures later and see if his penis is worth my time.
Will that be creepy to wake him up at midnight with my tongue all over his body??
Dude, you went to another fraternity's formal as a joke and came home with one of their dates. AND you managed to get her number. Please explain to me how that's not a good night.
On a scale of zero to "unmitigated disaster," how drunk is he?
my talents include tricking people into giving me money and free drugs
I made out with a guy so that I could get ahead in the bathroom line, totally acceptable
Let's make a rule now, to not smoke weed out of our trumpets. After tonight.
Randomize
