I have this horrible feeling I'm going to blackout tonight & only be able to say 'wasabi bobby' over & over again.
She had hickeys... what's up with that?? HAHAHA
I decided you couldn't drive after you asked where the time circuits were on your Altima
I wanted to see November 5, 1985
Also, I'm sewing my entire Halloween costume by hand. I better get laid at every single party I go to.
Jesus Christ, she just started playing Enya and is humming along to it. Way, way, way too hungover to deal with her shitty taste in music
and if my full six pack comes in by Halloween there is no stopping the man slut costume. I have no shame
I can only take thier stupid "I think beauty school is for me" routine so long until I have to bitch slap them with some knowledge
An old lady WILL get vomited on today.
It's not even close to Halloween but there is a girl in a nurses outfit. Twerk or twat.
Did I send you a drunk selfie with a pine tree last night?
I had one beer! ONE BEER! They took shots in mourning of my tolerance last night. My ability to drink is a joke.
I AM NOT LOSING TO SOME FICTIONAL CROSSDRESSER
So let me get this straight I was getting drunk with our science teacher from high school and you got drunk with an 82 year old woman who invited you back to her house and made you sandwiches.
Yes.
u woke up and asked who took ur pants off then realized u did n almost cried over not gettin layed
I just threw up in front of a bunch of parents/prospective students while they were on a campus tour..awesome..
Randomize
