If I pass out leave the food near me so i can wake up to it
I hate it when I can only see straight when I close one eye. I feel like that deserts the purpose of seeing with two eyes
this just has baby written all over it
I woke up to you in just boxers at my door at 7a.m. with you saying how many squrriels you counted on the walk back, then you made me penis shaped pancakes
It starts with an S and ends with arah just gave me a bj.
you flashed my boyfriend last night so i tackled you to the floor. you may be a bit sore.
She was so morning drunk she asked the lady at brueggers for a bandaid and my self respect back
She was the shot vending machine at the party. But free.
My bed smells like stale sex...I want it to smell like fresh sex, I miss you.
Discovered that a nalgene holds an entire bottle of wine. Going mobile. Come find me.
Found a grenade pin. Still no Dave.
We made out a little and then he gave me some weed. I would say it was a pretty productive stop on my way home
I'm up in my room and I just saw a naked guy sprint out into the streets from my mom's party downstairs
She asked me to come on her OkCupid date with her
Do you think it would be okay if i cleaned my cartilage piercing with the leftover vodka?
Randomize
