this weekend will be like the season finale to my life
at least he lost his v-card with a bang... or should i say the clap.
Her vagina turned into a vuvuzela. I didn't know it was a possible to have a wet nightmare.
Trick or treaters just rang our doorbell
Give them the moldy beer cans, we need to get rid of those
We're discussing which museums we should go to when we shroom. How ill would Picasso be?
He only had napkins in the bathroom... no toilet paper. If I fuck him, am I settling?
I do wanna see you. And we can just lay here and watch a movie and listen to me cry.
On a scale of 1-10 how seriously are we considering being sugar babies?
I'm about a 7.95
Might be time to reevaluate my life. Banned from red roofs inns. Apparently I puked in ice machine. 3 hotels in a year.
Sex with him is like pizza, it can be shitty but its stillll pizza.....
I made out with a guy who was dressed as Borat
And like a minute in, I was like oh fuck what am I doing
Did you run away?
I DANCED AWAY.
I puked in the back of my mom's new car because I had too much to drink at Chilis. I think I just hit rock bottom.
Everything is a learning experience. Last night we learned why I'm not allowed to bring guys home from the bar....
Apparently I'm some kind of sexual camel.
Do toy wanna orseer frim onedof tjose plaves? Sry textimg with globes on
Gloves*
Out of all the words to correct, you chose gloves??
Randomize
