So, I'm pretty sure I just jacked off and my gf 17 m/o son caught me. IDK how long he was standing in the crib, but he definately saw the grand finale.
May or may not have just drunkenly opened my christmas presents. Greatly disappointed. Might break up sooner.
This Casey James character from American Idol is really gonna mess up my sex life.
Or maybe the fact that you know who Casey James is will be what messes up your sex life.
Umm. Any where really. Alcohol and boobs. Those are the requirements.
You were petting your shoe and saying this makes me really happy
Do you think I should make him wait for my responses or do you think sophomore have no concept of time like dogs?
some people offered us free beer as long as we shotgunned it and after you shotgunned four without pausing they took their offer back
i just had to pick up my 18 year old cousin from the police station for hosting a party, and i had to do this stoned wow
I fell into a manhole last night, so there's that
Actually just remembered that solo cup full of scotch that random guy gave me for not farting on him. That's probably why
So, my love of dick may have landed me in a cult. On the bright side, I now have a discount at Spencer's.
It's 4am & this guy is asleep with his junk still inside me..really rethinking my life
Its 7am I'm awake still drunk, there is food, random clothing and road cone in my room. I can't decide if this is a failure or a success???
Just so you know, it is really hard to rehydrate when everything is spiked with everclear.
we f'd six times
f'd?
its sunday, i cant say fucked
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